What are the three primary rules for an alcoholic family, as identified by Claudia Black?

The identification of the three primary rules for an alcoholic family as "Don't talk, don't trust, don't feel" highlights the dysfunctional communication patterns that often emerge in families affected by addiction. These rules serve to protect the family members from emotional pain and the chaotic environment created by the addiction.

"Don't talk" indicates that open discussion about the addiction and its consequences is often avoided. Family members may feel that discussing the problem will lead to conflict or further emotional distress, so they keep silent about their feelings and experiences.

"Don't trust" reflects a pervasive sense of insecurity and betrayal often felt in families dealing with alcoholism. Trust is compromised by the unpredictability and denial associated with the alcoholic's behavior, leading family members to guard their feelings and interactions.

"Don't feel" underscores the emotional numbing that can occur in these families. Individuals may suppress their feelings—whether sadness, anger, or fear—because expressing these emotions could lead to conflict or be viewed as a sign of weakness.

Together, these rules contribute to an environment of secrecy, isolation, and emotional detachment, which can further exacerbate the struggles of both the individual with the addiction and the family members. Recognizing these patterns is crucial for social workers and therapists striving to support families